How many times have you said to yourself, "If I could just let this go then I'd be happy, or then I'd be successful or then I'd be thin or then I'd be in the prefect relationship or then I'd..."
It doesn't matter what it is. It might be a relationship, it might be a habit, it might be a feeling. It's a little like bubble gum, you pull it out of your mouth only to have it stick to your finger, you toss it on the ground only later to have to scrape it off your shoe.
For whatever reason IT, whatever it is, just keeps coming back!
It's not uncommon to tie your need to release that thing with your self worth. It's not uncommon to think you must be doing something wrong. It's not uncommon to think, "If I were truly spiritual, I wouldn't have a problem letting go of this!"
All of these associations are actually, self hating nonsense. Any attempt to tie our worthiness to whether or not we can let something go, or in reverse, can acquire something, is a total trap!
Feelings, patterns, habits even relationships, are all created because at some level we need or at one time, needed that experience. There may be an identity that has formed in relation to doing something a certain way, or being wth someone in a certain way, and to change that habit, is also to let a part of us, seemingly, die. Now that is scary and there is no need to push any part of us over a cliff before they are ready! Perhaps that way of doing that thing kept us safe or got us the attention that we needed as a child. Perhaps it is inextricably linked to our very survival!
Would it not be kinder to honor that part, to recognize the brilliance in that creation?
We try so hard sometimes to push those undesirable things away without ever considering the possibility that what they may actually need is to be held even closer!
I know, it's a weird thought, why would I ever want to embrace something that I want to let go of?
Well, maybe by the very act of denying that creation, we too deny our own creative power.
Now that Would be a conundrum!
How can I let go of what I don't want then and still honor what I have created?
What comes to my mind is an indoor- outdoor cat. A cat who comes and goes as she pleases, she has no litter box in the house, she may come in for food or affection and if you are kind you can give it to her and then let her out the door again. One day, she may just stop coming, cats are like that! So are patterns. Its rare that something leaves when we are judging, condemning or pushing it away with all of our might. More often than not, that Thing will just dig in deeper where it's even harder to find, harder to tend to and to a degree, runs even more of the show.
When we become aware of a pattern that we want to release, try instead of judging and hurrying to push it out of the plane, to simply become curious. Investigate your feelings and its purpose.